corrective lenses

Remember the annual cold? I do.

Perhaps you are one of the special people who “never” get sick or when you do, have a bully night of it and then it’s gone. I, on the other hand, have wacky tonsils that seem to be breeding grounds for your germs and the germs from across the hall.

I remember the doctor who wanted to scoop out my tonsils with a spoon when I was in fifth grade. He actually said that. “Your tonsils are so swollen I can scoop them out with a spoon!” The last thing I was going to do at that point was allow that man in my mouth with a kitchen utensil. So, as I managed to do with the optometrist who advised my parents in first grade to have me fitted for glasses, I campaigned for leniency. I also found out that the typical person who gets fitted for eyeglasses finds their vision degenerate at a faster rate than non-spectacle wearers. It was an easy campaign from my perspective. To this day, I’m the only one of 5 family members without “corrective” lenses.

“Isn’t there a pill I can take?” The doctor informed my mother that 3 out of 10 patients were able to reduce the swelling of spoonable tonsils and avoid surgery. Done. All I needed were the odds and I could manifest the necessary results. Three decades later, my tonsils continue to be hotbeds for germ incubation. I can feel it. Right now. Bastard tonsils. Just kidding. One needs to be careful with negative affirmations…

Back to the annual cold. What happened to once in a while? It used to be that I’d get a whopper of a week long sinus cold each winter and it was done. These past few years it has been more like a few times per annum that the creeping crud invades my Google Calendar and forces me to make changes.

What gives? I eat a somewhat healthy, vegetarian diet, take supplements, get my seven hours of sleep, avoid most exercise, spend each day across from 6-12 people in close quarters and enjoy a good glass of single malt scotch here and there.

Well, I’ll tell you what gives. I fly. I mean, I go up in commercial airplanes. Almost every illness I have had in the past three years can be associated with air travel within at least a month if not a matter of days. The last two times I have been sick occurred within four days of flying. Hmm. What do you think about that? I think it is highly unfortunate.

I know we are all carrying various pathogens and pass them all day long from public restrooms to doorknobs to public transportation but has it always been this bad? It seems as if there is more awareness today than ever before when it comes to washing your hands after you tinkle. So what is going on?

There are endless answers from conspiracy theories to antibiotic saturated foods (and people) that create super-resistant pathogens, making it more and more challenging to combat the increasingly uncommon cold.

But still, why me? I take astragalus for God’s sake.

More than it being a mystery, it is a downright assault on my freedom. The fact that I can’t plan a vacation and assume that I’ll be well enough to enjoy it is very disturbing. Is it me?