Sometimes, we just want to run out into the streets and be free of all the “work” we do from the office to the therapy couch. And that is absolutely great! I highly recommend taking vacations from all the things that require focus, discipline and inner challenge. And yet, I have found for myself how important it is to discern the concept of “vacation” for myself as different from denial…
Technically, denial is defined as the action of declaring something to be untrue. And yet, most of us tend to ignore the notion that putting aside our process is an actual action which requires a conscious decision! We just sort of numb ourselves out when we begin to think of something we’d rather not think about. This can be an exceptionally useful coping mechanism when we need a little space to distance ourselves from a painful or threatening thought, feeling or memory.
However, numbing out can also be one of those pesky self-destructive mechanisms that we engage when we attempt to run away from personal growth and even personal accountability. Now, over the years I have done my fair share of numbing out, denial, resistance, conveniently “forgetting” certain things! I get it! It can be very satisfying (and healthy) to say “screw it!” and blow everything off once in a while. I’m going to cut off all my hair or change my clothing style or call that old wild friend whom I know will keep me out later than I’m used to…These moments can be transformative and remind us to RISK!
Then again, what happens if my style becomes one of uttering “screw it” all the time? This might be the point at which a healthy and well deserved vacation enters the realm of full blown denial.
Uh oh…!
What to do? I’m tired of the hard work! It’s gorgeous out! But denial feels so good….! So does accomplishing goals and uncovering the power that lies beneath the denial. Once again we encounter the concept of balance. While there are surely moments to shirk all responsibility and just let loose there are also moments when showing up for myself defines me and who I am in the world…
HOW WILL YOU SHOW UP TODAY???