Well, in my last blog post I thought Spring was coming, but perhaps I was wrong.
I’m sorry.
I say this tiny little phrase all the time. Sometimes out loud, oftentimes in my own head.
I’m sorry.
I have also heard it repeatedly said to me throughout my life. Sometimes soft, sometime loud, oftentimes implied through remorseful eyes or pursed lips.
However, what does it really mean? Do I mean it when I say it? What could it mean to be truly sorry?
In many languages, “sorry” is equivalently translated as “excuse me.” Yes, oftentimes the way I mean “I’m sorry” is akin to bumping into you at Starbucks and accidentally spilling your coffee. There may be a stain but it’s not life or death, so get over it, right?!?
I often consider the prevalence of “I’m sorry” in our whack-a-doodle culture. Everyone from priests to politicians, professional sports figures to movie stars, all seem to find their way in front of a camera to utter the requisite mea culpa. Back in the day (when people used Latin phrases more often), folks even used to throw in a “maxima” between mea and culpa, offering “my most grievous fault.”
However, who really means it anymore? And why do we seem to expect public figures to go on global TV and utter those empty words as part of some inane PR process required to return to box office, oval office or golf course power? Who are you really saying those words to? Me? You?
A spiritual teacher once told me “everyone will hurt you at some point, so you might as well get used to it.” Well, then. That’s not a fun concept, is it?
Yet, the concept has had legs in my life. Sometimes they have been little hurts, other times they have been some culpae maximus… Oftentimes, however, they are accompanied with “I’m sorry.”
If it is a simple fact of life that we will inevitably step on grass and bugs, even killing them, what does it mean to be “sorry?” If I choose to do something hurtful, malicious, even premeditated, what does it mean to be sorry?
As you move through your life, take the opportunity to pause before you suggest that you’re sorry. Consider what sorry really means to you and what it means in the moment. Are you really standing inside the words you are sharing with the person so that they are authentic and heartfelt or is the phrase simply required in order to move forward?
Try on a new (or reinforced) approach to sorry. Sorry, I had to say that.
