My dog, Chaco, turns 15 years old next week. I know there is a popular notion that dog years are actually measured in multiples of human years so that relatively speaking, 15 is akin to a Methusaleh experience. Personally, 15 is a long enough time as it is; I don’t need to multiply him by anything in order to appreciate how much I love him.
15 years ago, I was a 25 year old man with a Masters from Harvard and not a pot to piss in. No, really, I lived in a 9 ft. trailer in the middle of the New Mexican desert. I had no electricity, no heat and well, no toilet. Studying with shamans has historically never been a cake walk so I didn’t expect much regarding accommodations.
As the warmer breezes of spring rolled through the valley I drove to the local post office of the nearest town to send a letter ( remember the post office? ). There was a big red pick-up truck in the parking lot with big, fluffy, yapping, yellow puppies in the bed. The owner explained that “their bitch had been knocked up again by that damned Shepherd” and they simply couldn’t afford to feed the puppies anymore. The next step was death by drowning. Drowning?!?
It is said that we choose our relationships and our teachers choose us. The little, scrawny runt sat trembling at the back of the truck and peed a good sized puddle the second I looked at him. “I’ll take the little pisser, please.”
Chaco was not named for his chocolate dark complexion as many have assumed through the years. He was named for Chaco Canyon, the center of the turquoise trade in the Americas one thousand years ago and the namesake of the ancestors that would become today’s Navajo Nation.
He was afraid of his own shadow. He cried for weeks and screamed bloody murder every time I tried to pick his little body up and cradle him in my arms. Folks were convinced I was beating him due to the terrible noises he evoked on a regular basis. It took six months for a vet to realize he had a urinary tract infection that was beyond infected.
Chaco has now spent the better part of fifteen tremendous years with me and as an old timer with a fairly relaxed urethra, he has taken up peeing freely again. Living in a home with an incontinent canine has its challenges, especially now that we live upstairs in a brick building in one of the largest cities in the country. At the same time, there is something very familiar about the dynamic I am experiencing with my dear old dog.
The impulse to get irritated, frustrated and resentful each time the floor is wet or another rug is sent to be laundered is a mindful reminder about what it means to commit to another being. Maybe I chose the peeing runt who trembled at the back of the truck because I like challenges. Maybe, I figured he was the least likely to get adopted before being tossed into the river. Then again, maybe, just maybe, Chaco chose me because I had some things to learn and he was just the one to teach me.
Jeffrey Sumber is changing the world, one relationship at a time. For over two decades, Jeffrey has worked to understand the human experience from as many angles as possible. As a successful psychotherapist, marriage counselor, and life coach, Jeffrey has worked with thousands of clients who strive to live their best lives.
This was a beautiful narrative. However capable and strong and self-assured and balanced men like to be, one can always recognize the better part of a man’s nature in his unabashed fondness for his dog. A dog who has adopted someone, asks very little and is never critical. He listens. If he gets tired of listening, he walks away while you are still explaining something to him or simply falls into a deep sleep; come to think of it, I have that effect on a lot of humans.
I enjoyed reading about your appreciation of an old friend. Surely, that is what he has been to you . Thanks for a this superbly written, excellent post; poignant, and entertaining but always quietly and subtly pointing to deeper meanings about Life that should be learned and remembered.
Wil
Thanks so much for your kind words and wonderful feedback! He is indeed one of my oldest, truest friends on the planet:) I am endlessly blessed to have traveled life’s meandering roads together. All the best to you, William!
Jeffrey
You have literally given me a new way to look at one of my oldest dogs. We have always had three dogs in the house and the current oldest one is giving us more to deal with than any other dog we have owned. She has become incontinent, suddenly terrified to be left alone (to the point of scratching the walls to get out), whining at all hours of the night, and short-tempered at the other dogs in the house. I was starting to get impatient with her behavior, but now I realize that patience may just be an issue I need to work on!
Chaco has been lucky to have you in his life!
Having a dog that went through a patch (or is that several puddles!!) of urinary infection, I know how tiring that can get at times. I’m amazed at your ability to see the lesson in Chaco’s condition and narrate so well that it brought tears to me. Thank you for your wisdom! Wishing you and Chaco well.